"I'd like to think that i can wash it all off...wash it all away and watch it disappear. 

I'd start with my body, the one i've learned to live with my entire life, the body that was cursed to be made out of flesh and bones. I'd much rather be the flowers or the wind. Beautiful and inhuman. 

Then i'd wash away my mind, i'd let it into the abyss, back where it came from.

I'd wash away all my memories, first the bad ones and then the good.

I don't ever want to come back, i'll sure miss my friends but they will forget. I'd wash their memory of me...I don't want to cause any trouble.

I'd let it all disappear into the sea and the sky...and let the part I couldn't get rid of linger. 

Then I'd be apart of something bigger, something terrifying and somber, something beautiful and worth loving. 

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When all that's left of me washes out, I'll be in peace. I'll learn to love when i'm not me."